Day 47

Day 47 and life just keeps getting better. Today my roommate relapsed and tried his hardest to get me to relapse with him, even though I was the one telling him not to get down on himself too hard, relapse is a part of recovery, tomorrow is a new day 1, etc. Then I made the mistake of telling him that if I'd been in a similar sitution with my drug of choice I don't know if I'd have been able to say no either. So what does he do? He promptly tries to find my drug of choice and tempt me. Thank GOD that I had to work today. If he would have succeeded in finding it, and offered it to me, I don't know what I would have done. I was scared. I didn't want to face it. I'm too new in my sobriety and I've already gained so much that I don't want to loose it for anything. Thank God I got out of there. I would have done anything to get the hell out of there. I was even thinking about walking across town to my sister's and telling whoever was home that I needed to get away at any cost. I know they would have let me in and if they wouldn't have I would have wandered around town for a few hours until I got my nerves back. On another note, things are going amazing in sobriety. My siter invited me to be in her wedding, my old friend is coming back to me, everyone actually likes me. It's amazing, it's astonishing. I don't have the words for it except to say that I'm so incredibly grateful for everyday sober and all the amazing ways it's changed me. Yesterday I realized for the first time that I was happy being single. That's not quite how I put it, I said that for the first time I'd rather die alone than spend the rest of my life with the wrong person. Same thing really, right? On Monday I'm hanging out with someone that I've never hung out with sober and I'm kinda nervous. Will she drive me to use? Will we have nothing in common anymore? Will she like the person that I've become? Will I like her now that I'm sober? So many questions, and I'm afraid to learn the answers. I learned a long time ago not to ask questions if I'm afraid of the answers. So here's to another amazing day sober and surviving the biggest challenge to my sobriety yet. Thank you everyone for your support!