Fresh out of rehab and almost immediately, I planned my relapse. Tomorrow I was going to go use and I don't know why. I tried talking to my sponsor and that failed. I haven't relapsed yet, and at the moment I don't think I am, but the plans are still in motion and I've yet to cancel them.
5 minutes ago I was convinced that I was going to call to cancel. Now, I'm not so sure. I'm sick of this back and forth. I'm sick of talking about this. I'm going to sleep on this and tomorrow I'll figure this out. Right now, I'm going to sleep, I'm not even going to smoke before I go to bed. I just want blissful oblivion.
Until tomorrow.
