So here I am. 31 days clean. Wow. What's more wow is that I'm feeling SO low right now. I've lost my ability to write because it's all been said before. I'm in pretty intensive therapy right now. They're shining new light on a lot of old issues and it's leaving me feeling emotionally drained. I'm scared. What I'm really scared of is having to spend the day alone. I've been hanging out with this guy since I've been at the Corvallis shelter and today he has stuff to do without me. That means I'm stuck doing things alone. I don't want to. I'm my own person. I can live my life without anyone else. I'm a strong person.
Gratitude List:
1. The roof over my head.
2. My bed.
3. Food.
4. Coffee.
5. My sobriety.
6. My friends.
7. My family.
8. Good books.
9. My sponsor.
That's all I can think of right now. Time to go to yet another meeting that I'm just not feeling. I kind of just want to veg out in the park and let the world pass me by for a while.
Love you. Sorry you're doing it tough. It's a few days since this - how are you feeling today?
ReplyDeleteConfronting old issues sounds like a great and scary thing. I hope it's helping.
Love always,
Jamie