20 days

God I just want to cry and I don't know why.  I was all happy and stuff to be sober and now blah.  I know my friends are getting high without me today and I'm sitting here in the library all alone waiting for my next NA meeting.  I just want to get high.  I'm not going to.  It's been established that I'm not going to get high, I'm just so lonely.  I want to go home, but there is no home for me anymore.  My family doesn't want to see me anymore and I just can't accept that pain.  I want to run away from it so bad.  God, I'm lonely.  I'm not going to use today though.