90 Days!

I made it.  Tonight I get my green chip and yay for me.  I feel bad because sobriety is all I want to talk about today.  My father has been on my mind a lot lately.  As God would have it, I never knew my father, I never knew exactly how he died either, everyone that I'd feel comfortable asking about it is dead.  All I know is that he was an alcoholic.  I've heard different things about the severity of his alcoholism and/or recovery.  Everything from him dying of cirrhosis to him being in complete recovery.  I see my roommate and his son going to AA together and I wonder, why didn't I get that?  Was God so cruel that he left me with the disease and the one person who might have understood it died before he could ever share his story with me?  Why didn't he survive just a little longer?  I know he wouldn't have taken me away from everything like I always imagined him doing, but maybe we could have some sort of relationship.  Alas, that was never meant to be.  So I'm forced to walk this long hard road out of hell without my father there to support me.  Someone that would love me and understand what I'm going through.  Who knows, if he had survived, then maybe I wouldn't have gone through this.  Yet who am I to question God's will?  I don't know where I'm going with this, all I know is that all I can do is pray for God's will to become clear to me.  Thy Will Be DONE!