51 days clean . . .

So I relapsed, no surprise there.  But I'm going to pretend I didn't.  I like NA, I love the people and the self improvement, but I also kinda like getting high once in a while.  So I'm not going to tell anyone about what I did last night.  I'm going to keep my clean date and I'm not going to tell my sponsor or anyone at NA.  It'll be like last night never happened.  I'm going to try to forget it and there will be no consequences.  I don't know why I'm being honest here.  I suppose because no one except my Kiwi Princess reads this blog so there's no shame in being honest here.  I know I may have an attack of conscience and confess to people late, but as of right now my plan is to pretend it never happened.  And I won't feel guilty about it either.  I will be a member of NA who occasionally uses when no one's around.  No big deal.